Lokasenna
by Obnoxious Unicorn
Summary: The Norns screwed up one Ragnarok cycle, and now Loki is a frost giant babe in Odin's arms wondering what the fuck just happened. (Vaguely crack-ish, mostly serious. Not-woobie Loki. Will hopefully be a better re-write of my other Thor story.)
1. Again

**A/N: Trust My Rage deadass makes me cringe guys. I was such a fucking Loki stan that I woobified him and more or less wrecked everything that made his character so much fun in the first place. But I'm not a fourteen year old anymore, so I've actually read some books that aren't teen fiction and I know how real people work now. So here's me trying to fix shit while still attempting to keep the general plot of whatever the** ** _fuck_** **Trust My Rage was alive.**

* * *

 _Jormungand's fangs tear apart the one he once called brother._

 _He knew the battle was lost then._

* * *

 _Again_

* * *

 _Fenris swallows Odin whole._

 _He does not know whether to laugh or weep._

* * *

 _Again_

* * *

 _Heimdall slashes him deeply across the torso even as he slices the Gatekeeper's throat open. They fall to the blood-soaked earth. Heimdall stares with all-seeing eyes._

 _He bares his teeth in what must be more of a snarl than a grin._

 _This is his own Ragnarok._

* * *

 _Again._

* * *

 _Surtur's blade drives deep into the heart of Asgard, and there is light, and there is roaring, and then the heat of destruction—_

 _And there is darkness._

* * *

 _Again._

* * *

Odin Borson, Allfather and King of Asgard, takes the wailing infant in his arms and watches as pale white bleeds away the blue. Much loss has been suffered this day, but perhaps one life may be spared.

* * *

Loki sees the battle-weary face of Odin and, of course, he begins to cry. Who _wouldn't_.

Through the confusion, through the dazed horror of all he has just remembered and witnessed and lived through, Loki thanks the Norns that he still has the good sense to take this opportunity to urinate on Asgard's mighty warrior king.


	2. Prince Loki

**A/N: PLEASE READ! Okay, so now to explain what's going on with timelines and everything:**

 **Loki's 'past life' is the one we are familiar with in the MCU, however a more traditional Ragnarok occurred. Something went wrong with the cycle, and so Loki remembers the events of his past. No one else remembers. This is technically a time-travel AU, kind of. I'll pop these at the beginning or end of chapters where I feel more explanation is required.**

 **I'm trying to go for a healthy balance between angst and humour, because while Loki surely is an angsty kind of bloke, I also don't want to diminish the fact that he is and always will be the God of Mischief.**

 **Cheers lads.**

* * *

It is frustrating, he finds, being completely incapable of taking care of himself. Loki has long prided himself on his independence, on his ability to survive on his own no matter what; learning to fend for himself is something he learnt long ago. _This?_ This is demeaning, this is embarrassing, this is just plain awkward.

Odin changes his nappy.

Loki finds he rather preferred the feel of Heimdall's sword slicing through him, and then he remembers that he doesn't especially want to think too heavily on the Very Wrong Thing that just happened to him, so he instead shoves his chubby foot in Odin's remaining eye.

The All-Father jerks back and blinks rapidly at the intrusion, bringing a hand to gently hold Loki's small feet down as he secures the cloth around him. Hmph. Loki would've thought that with another son already, Odin might be more well-practiced at this but then he remembers Frigga _(with an awful stab of regret, he thinks of his mother's golden hair and soft smile, and he thinks that the Norns are either crueller than demons or just complete blithering idiots for doing this to him)_ and decides that _obviously_ Odin would have as little to do with the messy side of child-rearing as possible.

Loki grins, hoping for something obnoxious and sharklike. When Odin's face crinkles with a small smile, he realises that perhaps it's less unsettling and more adorable.

"You will be a handful, I see."

 _I will be_ several _handfuls,_ Loki vows, and as his stomach cramps with hunger he finds himself crying once more.

* * *

The light of the Bifrost is resplendent, as always. Despite being cradled so close to Odin's chest, rainbow fractals still dance before his eyes, flash behind his eyelids. The journey from Jotunheim is not a long one; they are soon within the golden observatory.

Loki recalls Surtur crushing it with one great stomp that sent a wave through the city, a wave that flooded the streets up to the palace and allowed the Great Serpent access to Asgard.

"The war is over. Jotunheim has surrendered, and King Laufey has recalled his troops from Midgard. Send word throughout the realms that we will finally have peace," says Odin, and Loki hears the clanking of armour as whatever foot soldier it was goes to run to the city.

"Heimdall, how fares Midgard?"

Loki can't help the restless shifting of his tiny form as he catches a brief glimpse of golden armour when Odin adjusts his hold on his tiny body.

"As you say, my King, the Jotnar retreat from the realm even now. Midgard will once more be home to none but the mortals on the morrow."

It sends a thrill of helpless fear through him, the sound of the Gatekeeper's voice. Loki lets out a rather pathetic sounding whimper. Odin smoothes a thumb over his head; he wishes it wasn't as relaxing as it was.

They leave the observatory, the hooves of Odin's horse rhythmically clopping against the Rainbow Bridge. Despite how jarring the motion is, the steady hold around him and the sound of the sea below lulls Loki to sleep.

Being an infant again really is quite inconvenient.

* * *

When he wakes, it is to a golden ceiling and warm light, to the scent of a wood fire and floral perfume. He sees Frigga, and he is so overcome for a moment that he lets out a high wail and then bursts into bubbling giggles.

The All-Mother looks delighted beyond words as she leans over his crib to coo at him, to tuck his blanket tighter around himself, to pick him up in gentle arms and hold him close. Loki wants to weep, and yet in this embrace he thinks that perhaps he will never find the need to weep ever again.

* * *

"Mother, what is that?"

Loki squirms in Frigga's arms, twisting just enough to see blonde hair and the face of a cherub. Thor is not much older than he — barely out of toddlerhood himself — but he eyes Loki with confusion and a surprising amount of suspicion.

"Thor, come closer and meet your brother. His name is Loki," says Frigga, voice quiet and gentle as she holds Loki on her lap with one arm, and beckons Thor over with the other.

"A _brother?"_ comes the response, and the small clumsy patter of feet. Thor climbs into the armchair, wedged between the arm and Frigga, and leans over to stare at Loki. "He's so very ugly, mother."

Well then. Rude.

"But also very…soft looking. He's cute too, I think. And he's my brother? My own brother?" Thor asks, turning to stare at Frigga.

She smiles, smoothes a hand over Loki's head, runs fingers through Thor's hair. "Yes. He is your brother, should you choose to accept the most noble task of being his guide and protector, my prince."

Thor makes an attempt to straighten himself, but it clearly isn't easy when one is fitted precariously between a cushioned arm and his mother's lap. With all the solemn gravitas of a four year old, he declares, "I will protect him, my queen."

Frigga laughs softly. "Well then, Prince Thor, may your fates be ever entwined. Our little Prince Loki here is most fortunate indeed to have such a noble brother watching over him." And she ruffles his hair, making Thor giggle and duck his head to lean on her shoulder.

Two blue eyes turn to watch Loki, and Loki finds himself stunned utterly silent in the face of such love, such utter devotion.

Briefly he finds himself wondering what he could possibly have been thinking when he turned his back on this.


	3. Three Things

**A/N: surprise im not dead.**

* * *

Babies do not magically appear. They are not brought by stalks to the doorstep of an expecting couple. They do not spring from bamboo shoots.

The story is this: Asgard has seen little of Queen Frigga in recent months, but it was mostly assumed to be due to tensions between realms and the need to greet envoys on diplomatic visits, to assuage any fears that the feud between Aesir and Jotnar would bleed over into other realms. During these months, the queen gave birth to a second son, but in the panic and fear of invasion it was kept secret from all, to protect the Royal Family and the All-Father's lineage.

Now the war is over, and the joyous news of Prince Loki's birth has been announced. Asgard celebrates for both victory over the Frost Giants, and for yet another heir to the throne.

They do not know that they cheer for the slaughter of their youngest prince's kin.

* * *

In the dark of the night, as Asgard and her rulers sleep, Loki lays awake in his crib. A hologram of twinkling stars and swirling galaxies plays out above him, there to lull him to sleep. Instead, Loki thinks of the Void, of his past, and of his future.

To what end have the Norns sent him back intro this state? What purpose could this possibly serve? On the battlefield, Loki had been more than happy to breathe his last. The years leading up to Ragnarok had not been kind to him; lie after lie, scheme after scheme, forever on the run and wondering when his mistakes would catch up to him.

Ragnarok was supposed to be about death, rebirth, and atonement.

This was supposed to be a clean slate.

 _So why do I remember?_

* * *

It plagues him. Frigga has to coax him to eat or drink, and he can see the worry creasing her eyes.

But Loki cannot stop wondering at the _pointlessness of it all._

And so he continues on, scarcely noticing Frigga's dampening eyes, or Thor's concerned questions, or Odin's gentle inspecting hands.

Loki continues on.

* * *

It makes no _sense._ Why send him back with his memories when he is trapped in this weak, pathetic, _needy_ body? Unless…

 _Unless it truly was a mistake._

* * *

And one night, while Loki watches the twinkling stars with the quiet talk of Odin and Frigga in the next room, he finds his view obstructed by a head of shaggy golden hair. In the dark he can just about make out pale eyes and a frown.

Thor clambers over the rail and into the crib, sitting at the bottom end, and takes Loki with surprisingly gentle hands and sits him in his lap.

"You're making Mother and Father very sad. They think I can't tell, but they're always looking at you with sad faces. Why are you like this? Don't you like us? I… I thought I was going to be a good big brother," says Thor.

For the first time in weeks Loki turns his whole, undivided attention to Thor.

"I wish I knew how to make it better. I'm supposed to protect you, but… I don't know how when you're like this!"

Loki… He feels guilty. He shouldn't. He shouldn't feel a damn _thing_ for this oaf, for the man who was once his brother in another life, who he renounced long ago. He… Loki _shouldn't._

And yet.

Silently staring into blue eyes, Loki can't quite think of the reason why he had been so plagued with worry these past few weeks. If the Norns intended for this to happen, then Loki truly had no idea why. If it was a mistake… He could make the best of this.

He… He could try to enjoy this second life.

Loki raises a tiny hand up to Thor's face.

Thor blinks, surprised, leaning down to allow Loki better access.

Loki takes a fistful of hair and _yanks._

With a surprised yelp, Thor yells, "Ow! Let go! Let go!"

The door slams open, Odin and Frigga in the doorway with defensive postures that relax the instant they see the two children.

Loki pulls and pulls and pulls, and Thor lets out a pained shriek, and Loki _laughs._

* * *

Whether or not this entire predicament was intentional, what Loki knows is this:

One, he can have fun with this; this pre-knowledge, this… _enlightenment,_ if you will, it will provide some simply _splendid_ opportunities for him to make some mischief and spread a little chaos.

Two, his loneliness is an option. He can choose a life of isolation, or he can remain with his family. This is entirely in his control.

And three? Intentional or not, whether this be part of some grand design or a simple twist of fate, he is not one to play by the rules. Loki had been about to die, and die a good death that would lead him to the halls of Valhalla to be reunited with his loved ones, and that had been stripped from him entirely. And, being the vindictive fellow he is, there is only one logical step to take: Loki will make the Norns regret allowing this to happen _._

So let the fun begin.


End file.
